present imperfect

i live not in the past
in the present
i thrive
to laugh with the wind
to bend in the rain
to smile at the sun
to dance with the moon
i mind not
the tear
in the fabric
of my soul
i fear not
the wound
that pierces
i welcome
the assault
for only
in the face
of such a trespass
I surpass
myself
standing tall
pride intact
present
imperfect
i accept
i live not in the past
in the present
i thrive

i pause but not quite still

I pause
but not quite still
a fluttering
belies my peace
is it you
my dark self
so near
that i
sense
a truth
i not dare yet lay claim
a denial
i not dare yet admit
to the light of day
my passionate self
i lay bare
trembling
awaiting

I pause
but not quite still

let me walk

let me walk
barefoot
in the grass
so that i would
not
be afraid
of what's beneath my feet

let me stand
alone
on tables and chairs
so that i see
the difference
from where i stand

let me smell
what's cooking
in the kitchen
so that i am
no stranger
to what i eat

let me touch
the thorny rose
so that i learn
the pain
of my act

let me taste
what scrunches
up my face
so that i grow up
not
on MacD's
alone

in my young life
let me learn
not to be afraid
of things
unfamiliar
unknown
instead
let me learn
how
i need be afraid
on
my own

let me walk
barefoot
in the grass
so that i would
not
be afraid
of what's beneath my feet

i stumble

i stumble
i fall
but i will
pick myself up
again

i cry
i wail
but i will
stop when i am
done

i run
i bleed
but i will
dust off the dirt
and run
again

i play
i fight
but we will
sooner than you think
be friends
again

don't stop me
stumbling
falling
crying
wailing
running
bleeding
fighting
playing

cos i'm a child
i will play
i must play
with one another
with each other

i stumble
i fall
but i will
pick myself up
again

If I tell you

if i tell you
i am angry
at you
for force feeding me
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am not happy
at being
left alone with the tv
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am scared
of the uncle
down the street
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am in love
with the girl next door
will you listen to me

will you listen to me
an angry child
an unhappy child
a scared child
a child in love
and believe

if i tell you
when i tell you
will you listen to me

how much more fun

how much more fun
can life's roller coaster ride
be
when you can get off
when you want
the thrills
the adrenalin rush
the exhilarating
wheezing
screams
screeching
up and down
round and round
upside down
over and over
zipping through
the tracks
the cracks
of a life
gone
stale
the spills
a love lost
unrecoverable
a trust shattered
splintered
vows unfulfilled
emptied
promises forgotten
elapsed
dreams washed out
faded
tangled in life's
many broken strings
knotted
intertwined
inescapable
trapped
how much more fun
can life's roller coaster ride
be
when you can get off
when you want

there was a boy

there was a boy
who wanted wings
so he could fly to the sun
what a silly silly boy
i have wings
i could fly to the sun
but
what good would that do me
when i could
enjoy the sun
much better
here and not fly
at all
there was a boy
who wanted wings
so he could fly to the sun
what a silly silly boy

if i look like

if i look like
i'm wasting my time
and not doing anything worthwhile
don't let me fool you
cos i'm working very hard
to look like
i'm wasting my time
and not doing anything worthwhile

the dragonfly stayed very very still

the dragonfly stayed very very still
clinging to every bit of light
savouring every waft of wind
inhaling every wiff of smell
relishing every degree of warmth
treasuring every ounce of its weight
remembering into its soul
its life
a life lived
fully
the dragonfly stayed very very still

i am red

i am red
red
red
i make no apologies
in a drabby drabby world
i'm a burst of brightness
a cheer to be welcomed
thanked
praised
make no mistake
i am red
red
red

be still

be still
in the flurry of life
in the blur of places
faces
moments
be still
i dare you
let the silence talk
your thoughts ramble
your pulse slow
your breath fill
free your soul
let it roam
if only for
a slice
of time
in the flurry of life
in the blur of places
faces
moments
be still

we can't be more different

we can't be more different
you and i
the lives we live
separate
the paths we take
separate
the spaces we make our own
separate
yet we share
a common bond
we both want
to live
our separate lives
take our separate paths
make our separate spaces
here
just right here
and we shall
we can't be more different
you and i

where am I going

where am i going
I don't know
where have i been
i don't know
whither am I from
i don't know
where am i now
i don't know
i am here
i am now
i am beyond
where am i going
i don't know

my being here is not by chance

my being here
is not by chance
i come
with purpose
a mission
to fulfill
a lesson
to teach
not preach
to show by act and act alone
i strive
an inner beauty
to perfect
be my witness
my being here
is not by chance

if being seen by you

if being seen by you
means i exist
i would have long gone extinct
you
who can't see beyond your shadow
who can't exist
unless verified by your own kind
you are a sorry excuse
to validate me
if being seen by you
means i exist
i would have long gone extinct

think me not

think me not
ugly, creepy, squirmy
think me instead
a beauty
awaiting welcome
loudly heralding
"hey, beautiful"
for that i am
within
and without
think me not
ugly, creepy, squirmy
think me instead
a beauty

what use is an eye that does not see

what use
is an EYE
that does not see
the essence
of its BEING
what good is PRIDE
when all it represents
is GREED
why look
to the FUTURE
when NOW
is screwed
hail the plastic smiles
the nimble handshakes
palms itching for more
MORE of the same
MORE of the
EYE
that does not see

through the shroud of darkness

through the shroud of darkness
a breath hisses
whispering
stretching across
a dense blackness
a shimmering darkness
a depth unknown
masking
deluding
pretending
a soul
aged and hungry
for birth

a silence

a silence
a street
empty and cold
after the rape
of the night before
mutilated
violated
whored
cluttered by feet
nameless
shameless
aimless
mindless
emptying into the dark
luring back into the night
a silence
a street
empty and cold

a hole

a hole
in the wall
a peep
into what was
a peek
at what is
outside
inside
two sides
but not side by side

look at yourself

look at yourself
look closely
and remember
for
you may not recognize
what you have been
or
are
new is not as forgiving as old

your present

your present
a visage
a peel away page
easily willingly
irreclaimably lost
in a reality
understood as
the future

take me where you will

take me where you will
the heartland
of nothingness
memories erased
replaced
unrecognised
un-remembered
in a heartland of nothingness

old, broken

old, broken
forgotten
the songs
the laughter
the chatter
the lives
within
broken, old
forgotten

are you open

are you open
to let the sunshine in
or the darkness out?
truth secrets
silenced
secret truths
tales
untold
unknown
dead

i saw a butterfly

i saw a butterfly
in my garden
it could not decide
to go or stay
but while it was deciding
i acted
i caught
its moment in thought

are you looking at me?

are you looking at me?
what do you see
beyond the orange
beyond the spots
beyond the two eyes looking back at you
you know i am a butterfly
do you know you

in this corner

in this corner I am
a butterfly to you
a dash of orange
a presence to behold
enjoy
in a twinkling I'm gone
off to claim my sky
there i find my meaning
my being
in this corner I am
a butterfly to you
a dash of orange
a presence to behold
ENJOY

the breeze blew

the breeze blew
and the flower swayed
this way and that way
with me on top
certain of my place
the breeze blew
but it blew me not

i perch in my silence

i perch in my silence
delicate, alive
light, awake
here and now
i wait

laugh

laugh
from the heart
for that's the only truth
that's real

i lay the future in your hands

i lay the future in your hands
the past is long gone
the present shames me
the future is yours to right
the wrongs we did
the guilt we carry
the excuses we've given
for far too long
the future is yours to right
what i did not
could not
do
i lay the future in your hands

be curious

be curious
be very very curious
for you may find
the answers
i missed

one kiss

one kiss and i'll dance again
gossamer wings afloat like nothingness
silence
a broken web trailing the wind
a swirl, a twirl
my world

i come a landing

i come a landing
a moment to think
a breath
a day's end
a night's beginning
the wind's calling
i must go again
soon

i stop

i stop cos tomorrow i may not pass this way again

hey there

"hey there", said the dragonfly
"I don't remember seeing you here.
when i come back this way,
will you remember me?"

one day

"one day you too will touch the sky" said the dragonfly

to be in the light

to be in the light
is to stay out of the shadows
for now
cos there's plenty of time
for the shadows
to claim
ME

after this

after this
i can brave the dark

i'm here of my own free will

i'm here of my own free will
a choice i make
i'd rather hover over a pile of shit
but now i choose to be here
because i can
make a choice
you?

i thought

i thought
i was small enough to hide
too insignificant to be
of any interest to anyone
but i, me
caught your eye
thank you
for your attention
i do like it
i do

is the grass really greener on the other side

is the grass really greener on the other side
says who?
you?
the butterflies, the dragonflies
even the good old housefly
seem NOT to care
green or greener
they're here, there
everywhere

i cannot put a fork in my mouth?

i cannot put a fork in my mouth?
why?
because it will hurt me?
why?
because i will fall?
why?
BECAUSE?
why
did you give me the fork?

i take care of you

i take care of you
with joy in my heart
and a smile on my face
happily willingly lovingly
when you become
my responsibility
i want to remember
the time
i took care of you
with joy in my heart
and a smile on my face
happily willingly lovingly

what do you think I'm doing here

what do you think i'm doing here
alone and hanging on to a bright orange pole
do you think i'm lonely and need some TLC
do you think i'm sad and hiding my face
or am i an invisible child that no one sees
a problem child banished to stand alone
what do you think i'm doing here
well
i'm just a child alone and hanging on to a bright orange pole
sometimes that's all i'm doing
and all i want to do

i'm comfortable here

i'm comfortable here
at the door
i see what's going on
but i don't understand
i want to come in
but i'm a little scared
no one tells me if i should or not
no one tells me if i could or not
no one tells me
so i stay here
at the door
wanting to come in but dare not

just a little bit

just a little bit
enough!
no more! give me back!
a little is a little
next time i won't share ANYMORE!

this is who i am

this is who i am
a little fluff
a little light
cottony fluffy fluff
I claim my space
my place
right here
i belong

if you but look within me

if you but look within me
you will see a depth
you never thought
was there
you never knew
cos you never looked
within me