others have stopped and got off

others have stopped and got off
when will i
how will i
this journey i am going
where will it take me
how far will it go
how will i fare
as i near the end
will i come and go
alone
a quiet life
 a quiet end
will anyone know
i was even  here
this journey i take

others have stopped and got off
when will i
how will i

traffic signs

i wish
there were traffic signs in my life
telling me
when to stop
danger
go
turn right
left
bumpy road
winding road
no entry

signs
i understand
i see
i know

signs
i break
rushing through life
not slowing down
not stopping
not thinking
not seeing
not learning

crash
boom
bang
i pick myself up
broken
not dead
patched
not healed

just wishing
now more than ever
there were
traffic signs
in my
life

i want to do so many things

i want to do so many things
but i don't know how
i am overwhelmed by this deep loneliness
that weighs on me
so heavily
i can't breathe
i can't think of anything
but being alone
no escaping this life as it is
dreading
knowing
wanting
but can't

i am overwhelmed
deep over my head
alone
lonely
so many things I want to do
but i don't know how
not
to be
lonely

Everything i have

everything i have
i really have not
empty handed i came
empty handed  i'll leave
all that i have
purchased
collected
accumulated
precious
important
validation
of a life i have
i live
until the day
I leave
the way i came
empty handed
everything i have
i really have not

going going gone

going going gone
i tell you
i feel it
in my body
in my bones
the ravages of time
capsuled in flesh
held together
by skin

going going gone
i tell you
i feel it
the will fading
the life spirited
away day by day
moment to moment
leaving for now
the soul

going going gone
i tell you
i feel it
stories emerging
of  a life coming
to a hurried end
stories be told
and heard

going going gone
i tell you
i feel it
shadows converging
as i breathe the breath
that animates me
telling me still
I live

Going going gone
I tell you
I feel it
drowsy surrender
peaceful sleep welcome
embrace me now
lulling my thoughts
i leave

going going gone
I tell you
i feel it.

what i don't see won't hurt me

what i don't see

won't hurt me

what you don't see
you don't think about
my smiling face
my polite words
my courage
my silliness
my anger
resentment
fear
doubt
anxiety
you expect
you know


what you don't see
you don't think about
the silent tears
the swallowed pain
the dazed confusion
paralysing fear
deafening scream
maddening silence
suffocating loneliness
empty bravado
consumes me
inside
and out

what you don't see
you don't think about
what i don't see
won't hurt me
what i don't see
won't hurt me

that i believe
i must
what i don't see
won't hurt me

there was once a girl lying there...

there was once

a girl lying there

waiting, hoping, longing

wishes unheard
hopes unuttered
dreams unfulfilled
waiting, hoping, longing
for release
free
unbound

the empty bed
now waiting, hoping, longing
for a girl lying there
wishes unheard
hopes unuttered
dreams unfulfilled
there was once a girl
lying there.