there is a death today

there is a death today
a funeral to attend
not anyone i know
not really
not anyone i've met
not personally

there is a death today
a life has ended
the family mourned
i think
the adults at least
not really

a life has ended
the drama has not
the past lingers
in present
anger
hurt
bitterness
blame

the dead lies
awaiting
his journey
to conclude
the last farewell
an act
of togetherness
a show of family
tears and cries
horns and drums
to play out
to an audience
the slow last parade
of dead and mourners
even as the credit falls

there is a death today
a funeral to attend
not anyone i know
not really
not anyone i've met
not personally

I am not done crying

i am not done crying
but i am not rushing it either
how quickly i take for granted
the joys i had
how quickly reality knocks me
on my head
and DEATH stares coldly
at my face
eyeball to eyeball
choking the gasp
escaping my throat
unlocking the wells
of tears flowing freely
uncontrollably
unashamedly
publicly
lost
defeated
all strength ebbed
drained
dreams of a time
spent at leisure
fast forwarded
the future now sooner
DEATH
his calling card
a somber reminder
that LIFE
is an eggshell
falling off the edge
catch it
live it
i
can
still
enjoy
a treasured LIFE
measured in days
in moments
in memories
etched and digitized
even as i breathe
i am not done crying
but i'm not rushing it either

greener pastures

far far away
the dream beckons
come away come away
i wait

i see
i like
i want
take me away
let me go

beneath me glitter gems
i see not
too near
too familiar
my heart's closed too

look down
look near
see what you have
SEE what you have
no need to go
you have enough.

the cockerel says

it's not yet dawn
the cockerel says
the stars stay lit
my work has yet to begin

under the black black night
i wait
the cockerel says
my time will come
have patience
there's work to be done

count the stars
the cockerel says
or the black in between
but count them
and make them count

the dark and the bright
two sides of a star
to see the light
witness the black
to dwell in the dark
enjoy the light

dawn awaits
as dusk awaits
one into the other
the other into one
ever starting
ever ending
only to begin again

it's not yet dawn
the cockerel says
the stars stay lit
my work has yet to begin

in time, my time

rising through the depths
i will come through
in time
my time

caught in my spiral
i stay
a form
not solid
a structure
forming
taking shape
coming through

safe in my circle
i emerge
in bits
in time
unscrewing
i spiral
not down
but up
to take my place
in spaces and things familiar

the depths
are spiraling
deep down under
pushing me up and above
in time
my time

i can breathe
i can see
i can be
i will be
in a world i know
as ME

rising through the depths
i will come through
in time
my time

i am here

i am here
at rest
in my corner
undisturbed
the outside is outside
i see
but i don't want to see
i know
and that's enough
i am here
at rest
this is where
i want to be
in my corner
undisturbed
not flying
not flitting
not moving
inside,
this side
my side
the outside is outside
i am here
at rest

spiders...2

spiders on a dead tree
are having a field day
spindly legs crawling, hugging
dry barren stumps
leafless, lifeless
hard cold limbs
once alive in the winds
once alive to the sun
now alive to blackened creepy crawlies
scurrying, resting, holding, watching
spiders on a dead tree
waiting on death
waiting for death
whose might it be
spiders on a dead tree
spiders on a dead tree
are not dead

sand castle

every once in a while
we all need to build a sandcastle
sandcastles connect us
beyond ourselves
transport us
outside ourselves
an other experience
in the here and now

hard as we keep our dreams intact
hard as we bring our dreams to life
sometimes life cannot cope
reality fails us
dreams don't
dreams keep us alive
keep us going
transporting us
outside ourselves
connecting us
beyond ourselves
an other experience
in the here and now

sand castles
taking shape
in an other space
outside our minds
we keep building
and rebuilding
despite the tides
in spite of the tides

how much longer
can a sandcastle last
if built on higher ground
away from the tides
that claim it bit by bit
how much longer
can a sandcastle stand
on higher ground
its life force
dried out
it falls
crisp
in a shapeless heap loose and soft

it's the building
of the sandcastle that counts
it's knowing that
comes the next tide
it may not be there anymore
it's knowing that it was built
that it's worth rebuilding
that we build
sandcastles

that is what i realised
every once in a while
we all need to build a sandcastle

the road not taken

"Two roads diverged in a wood, and I-
I took the one less traveled by
And that has made all the difference".

Those famous words, such famous words,
how we oohed and aahed
how we analyzed and expanded and discoursed
upon the written word
literary criticicm
how proudly we announced
our trade
and what they were
words on a page
by a writer long dead
pages and pages
we expounded on its merit
hours upon hours
we fought and fought over it
exhausted
satiated
thirst in our throats
smiles on our faces
pleased we said our piece
but what did it all mean
in this petty life
we lived
finding meaning in yellowed pages
what did it all mean
on the roads
yellowed with lights
diverging in a concrete wood
shadowed by tall tall lampposts
diverging
splitting
dare i take the one less traveled by
would it have made all the difference
a dead end
gridlocked residential monotones
of grills and padlocks
heavy gates
and sentry posts
dare i take the one less traveled by
would it have made all the difference
a lone road
uphill monotonous cheerlessness
heavy steps
and guarded looks
what would it have meant
how would it have been
to have so
courageously
outrageously
commendably
contemptibly
taken that road less traveled by
and made all the difference
to have made all the difference
so what did it all mean
to take the road less traveled by
when the spirit was dulled
and life was drained by living
and that has made all the difference

the severed head of a cow

the severed head of a cow
is none too pleased
to have been so publicly
displayed

who are these asses
with tails between their arses
to rave and rant
in numbers 50 strong
hiding behind one another's sarongs
daring to promise
bloodshed
for terms not met

who are you
to demand your rights
and yours alone
what have you given to the community
what have you given to this land
that you stand
so righteous
so entitled
my severed head you stomped and trampled
my divine rights you maimed and mangled

my teats nurse the growing calves
you feed on
my milk strengthens the bones and teeth
of your children
whom you feed myopic racist tales
my bones flavour the soup
that warms your chest
and clears your sinuses
my skin your shoes and bags
you announce your uptight middle class-ness

the handouts
you unquestioningly
grabbed and hogged
are paid for too
by those you so strongly
reject

spare me
your lopsided rhetoric
spare me
your misplaced arrogance

make no mistake my anger
make no mistake my tears

i cry for the Malaysia long lost
i cry for the people you wronged
i cry for your people you misrepresented
i cry for the sacrifice you desecrated

i seek wisdom
i seek strength
to forgive
for I can never
will never
ever
forget
this severed head of a cow
is none too pleased
to have been
so publicly
DISGRACED