i say good bye to you

i say goodbye to you
because i love you
you are such a treasure
a gem
that glows so bright
every time

I say goodbye to you
because i am grateful
you bring me
comfort
smiles to my weary days
often and again

i say goodbye to you
because I remember you
in my stormy ocean
a buoy
you kept me afloat
without fail

i say goodbye to you
because it's the last thing
I can say
goodbye
heavy on my lips
heavier unsaid

i say goodbye to you
because i release you
of the responsibilities
yourself
you shoulder
me

thank you
thank you very much
you lived your life
for me
now leave
for you

i say goodbye to you
because i love you

it used to be years ahead

it used to be years ahead
now i am counting days
minutes
moments

it used to be years ahead
how quickly they passed
heartbeats
breaths

it used to be years ahead
i know where they went
joyous
fulfilled

not enough
not nearly enough
more
much much more

it used to be years ahead
not anymore
the future is now
use it
say it
do it

it used to be years ahead
now i am counting days
minutes
moments

what's on your mind

what's on your mind
you cast your eyes
far ahead
into the horizon
lost in your thoughts
are you thinking of me
of the times we shared
together
are you thinking of me
of the times we spent
apart
are you thinking of me
the reality of time
passing quickly by
my time
counting down
slowing down
winding down
are you thinking of me
making up
time
now

i think not of the past
i am in the present
of each wave
that crashes on the shore
of each breeze
that brushes past my face
of each stroke
of your hand comforting me
of each moment
that i share with you
here and now
of each breath
that i take
of each sight
that i see
of each heartbeat
that i feel
alive
loved

what's on your mind
you cast your eyes
far ahead
into the horizon

we were here once

we were here once
many years ago
do you remember
you didn't wait
you didn't think
your heart fearless
your spirit free
we are here now
today, this morning
remember
this moment
you run from the waves
you hesitate
fear in your eyes
your spirit dampened
i am beside you
as i was beside you
those many years ago
holding you gently
telling you
not be afraid
as I'm telling you now
don't be afraid
I'm here
holding you still

we were here once
many years ago
do you remember
I do
I will

maybe tomorrow

maybe tomorrow
i won't be here
for now
just let me be
this spot i lay
tomorrow
may be empty
just a ray of light
through the window grill
nothing more
one thing less
I am here now
just let me be
maybe tomorrow
I won't be here

a lone flower

a lone flower
embracing the sunlight
basking in its warmth

a lone flower
a burst of pink
deep and bright

a lone flower
not afraid
to be
alone

hangin by a thread

hanging by a thread
waiting for time

a bud
a full bloom
then done
i fall off

I fear not
I have had
my time
my glory
proud and beautiful
my prime
peaked and admired

I regret not
not a minute
cut short
robbed
unfulfilled

to have had
this time
my moment
to share
to contribute
a life
to participate

to have had
this time
to enjoy
while it lasts
as i breathe my last
as i sense my time
approaching
its end

I live
hence I do not mind
this time of waiting
for release
to be free
of the threads
to life

hanging by a thread
waiting for time

thanks for sharing

it's a bit crowded in here
or you're a little too close
but here we are
side by side
next to each other
we might as well
grow
together
and enjoy the sunshine
that falls on this plot of ours

you could want more space
i could sway to the left
or right
you could push me off
dominate me
take over this soil
i stand on
but you didn't
you took comfort
in my presence
you took joy
in my company
you offered me
a place to lean on

side by side
next to each other
we are all we have
for each other
here
in our tiny plot
of soil
to plant our tiny roots
not in the least concern
that
it's a bit crowded in here

poem to my mother

from you i learn

what it is to love

wholly

completely

unconditionally

the way you love

me, us, and even

the outsider in need

from you i learn to accept
children
as they are
for you believe
the baggage they carry
they got it from the adults
and you take them in
faults, problems and all

from you I learn to believe
that even when the worst days hit me
the good days will balance up
the pain, the tears
with joys and smiles

from you i learn to be gentle
for life is sometimes hard enough
and a gentle touch
that shows care, concern
is much more useful
and needed

from you i learn to be humble
because there is no place
for pride that hurt
and ego that attack
and that i am no less a person
for the humility that i display

from you i learn to be proud
for there is no shame in poverty
that i can still hold my head up high
and reach for the stars
and dream the impossible dream

from you i learn to be responsible
that duty is sometimes not a choice
and that having taken up that responsibility
i see it through
no matter what the price
because you took responsibility for me
i never had to suffer the irresponsibility of others

from you I learn to live
as rightly as i strive to give
of myself
to want but not deprive others
to share but not give up all i have
to contribute because this life
is not just about me
but about life and living
all these and more
from you
i learn

there is a death today

there is a death today
a funeral to attend
not anyone i know
not really
not anyone i've met
not personally

there is a death today
a life has ended
the family mourned
i think
the adults at least
not really

a life has ended
the drama has not
the past lingers
in present
anger
hurt
bitterness
blame

the dead lies
awaiting
his journey
to conclude
the last farewell
an act
of togetherness
a show of family
tears and cries
horns and drums
to play out
to an audience
the slow last parade
of dead and mourners
even as the credit falls

there is a death today
a funeral to attend
not anyone i know
not really
not anyone i've met
not personally

today

today
is a day
tomorrow
it will be
yesterday
soon
it will be
one day
some time ago
erm...that day
remember when
but today
is a day
i spent with you
and that makes
today
count
it makes
the one days
the some time agos
the erm...that days
the remember whens
not just any day
but a day
I spent
with you
today is
just one day
tomorrow it will be
yesterday

to be so loved

to be so loved
is but a small compensation
for the love
you showered me
unsurpassed
many many folds
unmatched
undemanded
your soulful eyes
never clouded
clear as you look
radiating kindness
devotion
a love
undiluted
uncompromised
your touch
ever so gentle
you connect
you communicate
softly
affectionately
meaningfully
your selfless gift to me
a treasure
i cherish
a keepsake
with utmost gratitude
i hold close to my heart
knowing full well
never able to return
equal to
the love i received
thus far
only able to utter
to you
to be so loved
is but a small compensation
for the love
you showered me.

I am not done crying

i am not done crying
but i am not rushing it either
how quickly i take for granted
the joys i had
how quickly reality knocks me
on my head
and DEATH stares coldly
at my face
eyeball to eyeball
choking the gasp
escaping my throat
unlocking the wells
of tears flowing freely
uncontrollably
unashamedly
publicly
lost
defeated
all strength ebbed
drained
dreams of a time
spent at leisure
fast forwarded
the future now sooner
DEATH
his calling card
a somber reminder
that LIFE
is an eggshell
falling off the edge
catch it
live it
i
can
still
enjoy
a treasured LIFE
measured in days
in moments
in memories
etched and digitized
even as i breathe
i am not done crying
but i'm not rushing it either

the door is not yet closed

the door is not yet closed
is your journey complete
questions
many questions
haunt me
taunt me
for answers
I don't have
scenes play out
over and over
again and again
what was
what could have been
what ifs
guilt
anger
repeat
as if
in repetition
my broken dreams
my shattered heart
restored

i'm torn
shredded
desperate
to silence
the screaming heart
to fill that bottomless void
searching
looking
wondering
is your journey complete
my door is not yet closed.

present imperfect

i live not in the past
in the present
i thrive
to laugh with the wind
to bend in the rain
to smile at the sun
to dance with the moon
i mind not
the tear
in the fabric
of my soul
i fear not
the wound
that pierces
i welcome
the assault
for only
in the face
of such a trespass
I surpass
myself
standing tall
pride intact
present
imperfect
i accept
i live not in the past
in the present
i thrive

i pause but not quite still

I pause
but not quite still
a fluttering
belies my peace
is it you
my dark self
so near
that i
sense
a truth
i not dare yet lay claim
a denial
i not dare yet admit
to the light of day
my passionate self
i lay bare
trembling
awaiting

I pause
but not quite still

let me walk

let me walk
barefoot
in the grass
so that i would
not
be afraid
of what's beneath my feet

let me stand
alone
on tables and chairs
so that i see
the difference
from where i stand

let me smell
what's cooking
in the kitchen
so that i am
no stranger
to what i eat

let me touch
the thorny rose
so that i learn
the pain
of my act

let me taste
what scrunches
up my face
so that i grow up
not
on MacD's
alone

in my young life
let me learn
not to be afraid
of things
unfamiliar
unknown
instead
let me learn
how
i need be afraid
on
my own

let me walk
barefoot
in the grass
so that i would
not
be afraid
of what's beneath my feet

i stumble

i stumble
i fall
but i will
pick myself up
again

i cry
i wail
but i will
stop when i am
done

i run
i bleed
but i will
dust off the dirt
and run
again

i play
i fight
but we will
sooner than you think
be friends
again

don't stop me
stumbling
falling
crying
wailing
running
bleeding
fighting
playing

cos i'm a child
i will play
i must play
with one another
with each other

i stumble
i fall
but i will
pick myself up
again

If I tell you

if i tell you
i am angry
at you
for force feeding me
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am not happy
at being
left alone with the tv
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am scared
of the uncle
down the street
will you listen to me

if i tell you
i am in love
with the girl next door
will you listen to me

will you listen to me
an angry child
an unhappy child
a scared child
a child in love
and believe

if i tell you
when i tell you
will you listen to me

how much more fun

how much more fun
can life's roller coaster ride
be
when you can get off
when you want
the thrills
the adrenalin rush
the exhilarating
wheezing
screams
screeching
up and down
round and round
upside down
over and over
zipping through
the tracks
the cracks
of a life
gone
stale
the spills
a love lost
unrecoverable
a trust shattered
splintered
vows unfulfilled
emptied
promises forgotten
elapsed
dreams washed out
faded
tangled in life's
many broken strings
knotted
intertwined
inescapable
trapped
how much more fun
can life's roller coaster ride
be
when you can get off
when you want

there was a boy

there was a boy
who wanted wings
so he could fly to the sun
what a silly silly boy
i have wings
i could fly to the sun
but
what good would that do me
when i could
enjoy the sun
much better
here and not fly
at all
there was a boy
who wanted wings
so he could fly to the sun
what a silly silly boy

if i look like

if i look like
i'm wasting my time
and not doing anything worthwhile
don't let me fool you
cos i'm working very hard
to look like
i'm wasting my time
and not doing anything worthwhile

the dragonfly stayed very very still

the dragonfly stayed very very still
clinging to every bit of light
savouring every waft of wind
inhaling every wiff of smell
relishing every degree of warmth
treasuring every ounce of its weight
remembering into its soul
its life
a life lived
fully
the dragonfly stayed very very still

i am red

i am red
red
red
i make no apologies
in a drabby drabby world
i'm a burst of brightness
a cheer to be welcomed
thanked
praised
make no mistake
i am red
red
red

be still

be still
in the flurry of life
in the blur of places
faces
moments
be still
i dare you
let the silence talk
your thoughts ramble
your pulse slow
your breath fill
free your soul
let it roam
if only for
a slice
of time
in the flurry of life
in the blur of places
faces
moments
be still

we can't be more different

we can't be more different
you and i
the lives we live
separate
the paths we take
separate
the spaces we make our own
separate
yet we share
a common bond
we both want
to live
our separate lives
take our separate paths
make our separate spaces
here
just right here
and we shall
we can't be more different
you and i

where am I going

where am i going
I don't know
where have i been
i don't know
whither am I from
i don't know
where am i now
i don't know
i am here
i am now
i am beyond
where am i going
i don't know

my being here is not by chance

my being here
is not by chance
i come
with purpose
a mission
to fulfill
a lesson
to teach
not preach
to show by act and act alone
i strive
an inner beauty
to perfect
be my witness
my being here
is not by chance

if being seen by you

if being seen by you
means i exist
i would have long gone extinct
you
who can't see beyond your shadow
who can't exist
unless verified by your own kind
you are a sorry excuse
to validate me
if being seen by you
means i exist
i would have long gone extinct

think me not

think me not
ugly, creepy, squirmy
think me instead
a beauty
awaiting welcome
loudly heralding
"hey, beautiful"
for that i am
within
and without
think me not
ugly, creepy, squirmy
think me instead
a beauty

what use is an eye that does not see

what use
is an EYE
that does not see
the essence
of its BEING
what good is PRIDE
when all it represents
is GREED
why look
to the FUTURE
when NOW
is screwed
hail the plastic smiles
the nimble handshakes
palms itching for more
MORE of the same
MORE of the
EYE
that does not see

through the shroud of darkness

through the shroud of darkness
a breath hisses
whispering
stretching across
a dense blackness
a shimmering darkness
a depth unknown
masking
deluding
pretending
a soul
aged and hungry
for birth

a silence

a silence
a street
empty and cold
after the rape
of the night before
mutilated
violated
whored
cluttered by feet
nameless
shameless
aimless
mindless
emptying into the dark
luring back into the night
a silence
a street
empty and cold

a hole

a hole
in the wall
a peep
into what was
a peek
at what is
outside
inside
two sides
but not side by side

look at yourself

look at yourself
look closely
and remember
for
you may not recognize
what you have been
or
are
new is not as forgiving as old

your present

your present
a visage
a peel away page
easily willingly
irreclaimably lost
in a reality
understood as
the future

take me where you will

take me where you will
the heartland
of nothingness
memories erased
replaced
unrecognised
un-remembered
in a heartland of nothingness

old, broken

old, broken
forgotten
the songs
the laughter
the chatter
the lives
within
broken, old
forgotten

are you open

are you open
to let the sunshine in
or the darkness out?
truth secrets
silenced
secret truths
tales
untold
unknown
dead

i saw a butterfly

i saw a butterfly
in my garden
it could not decide
to go or stay
but while it was deciding
i acted
i caught
its moment in thought

are you looking at me?

are you looking at me?
what do you see
beyond the orange
beyond the spots
beyond the two eyes looking back at you
you know i am a butterfly
do you know you

in this corner

in this corner I am
a butterfly to you
a dash of orange
a presence to behold
enjoy
in a twinkling I'm gone
off to claim my sky
there i find my meaning
my being
in this corner I am
a butterfly to you
a dash of orange
a presence to behold
ENJOY

the breeze blew

the breeze blew
and the flower swayed
this way and that way
with me on top
certain of my place
the breeze blew
but it blew me not

i perch in my silence

i perch in my silence
delicate, alive
light, awake
here and now
i wait

laugh

laugh
from the heart
for that's the only truth
that's real

i lay the future in your hands

i lay the future in your hands
the past is long gone
the present shames me
the future is yours to right
the wrongs we did
the guilt we carry
the excuses we've given
for far too long
the future is yours to right
what i did not
could not
do
i lay the future in your hands

be curious

be curious
be very very curious
for you may find
the answers
i missed

one kiss

one kiss and i'll dance again
gossamer wings afloat like nothingness
silence
a broken web trailing the wind
a swirl, a twirl
my world

i come a landing

i come a landing
a moment to think
a breath
a day's end
a night's beginning
the wind's calling
i must go again
soon

i stop

i stop cos tomorrow i may not pass this way again

hey there

"hey there", said the dragonfly
"I don't remember seeing you here.
when i come back this way,
will you remember me?"

one day

"one day you too will touch the sky" said the dragonfly

to be in the light

to be in the light
is to stay out of the shadows
for now
cos there's plenty of time
for the shadows
to claim
ME

after this

after this
i can brave the dark

i'm here of my own free will

i'm here of my own free will
a choice i make
i'd rather hover over a pile of shit
but now i choose to be here
because i can
make a choice
you?